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Thursday, November 11, 2010

Chick’s Nest #2 – Is it hot in here or is it just you?

(Disclaimer: Don't EVER repeat the title of this post in mixed company!! Only under the narrowest circumstances can a guy pull this one off so appreciate the joke and use a few more natural opening lines at the event!)

Toward the end of most months, the Diablo Glass School in Roxbury invites the public to observe artists while sipping wine and enjoying light snacks. Their next event is the Saturday over Thanksgiving weekend so, if you're interested, sign up soon.

Your Resident Chick went to a DSG Wine and Cheese a few months back and noticed that it was a prime location for men to meet women. On those Saturday evenings when you plan a happy hour anyway, at the DSG you get to expand your artistic horizons, drink wine, eat cheese and meat, and be in a group of 60 or fewer people made up of, on average, 70 percent women! I asked the event coordinator and he said that the wine and cheese nights were interesting because, although men are primarily students at the school, the attendees are mostly women every month. He couldn't really explain why. I'm not sure that why really matters.

Like my recommendations up to this point, this event affords you the opportunity to not only stack the numerical odds in your favor, but it also gives you built in conversation topics with the women who surround you. When I went, the group sat in the giant kiln room watching a team putting together some sort of pitcher. Their plan was to make an intricately detailed piece right in front of our eyes. The W&C group instantly bonded when, in a blink of an eye, the piece shattered. Everyone spontaneously broke out in to conversation because everyone was invested in its success, disappointed with its failure, and eager to share the shock of the piece's demise. In other parts of the school (there is a small piece area with a little torch and a flats area for stained glass and fused glass demos) W&C attendees got to touch and comment on the pieces and ask questions of the demo artists. It's really difficult not to connect with fellow attendees in this situation. Essentially, the conversation makes itself.

One last point about these events is that the location is ripe for extended connections. Why? Because it's on a sort of dreary side street off of the T. I'm pretty sure that there is a chop shop across the street. Even if I miscategorized it, I can GUARANTEE that most women will not feel totally safe walking through the neighborhood, particularly at night. Why is this good for you? Female attendees who meet normal, non-threatening men at the event will probably appreciate a guy with whom she/they can walk to the T or grab a ride to the evening's later destination. Play the hero and instantly relate with the women you meet.

Happy booze and molten glass!

He who gives shall receive

Sorry guys!! I've been out of commission for a while. To make up for it, I'm going to give you a few great posts at once!

In the past week, the Women's Philanthropy Institute published a study called "Women Give 2010" where they offered data to suggest that women were more charitable than men. Although I will leave the data analysis to the WPI, their conclusion was hardly a surprise because I've noticed a marked imbalance between men and women at charitable events. To get a sense of the type of women who frequent the city's higher profile charity events, check out Boston.com's party photos by Bill Brett. Although the crowds can often be mixed, inevitably, there is an excess of (usually) single women dressed to the nines and looking hot at these events. If I had to theorize about why that would be, I'd guess that men see charity events as a way for groups to siphon money from them and that women see charity events as a appropriate price to pay for the right type of social interaction.

What is the "right type" of social interaction?

Although both types of events are essentially just cocktail parties, the difference between any night at a bar and a night at a charity event is that, at a charity event, a common element unifies everyone in the room. As I said in my introductory post, the trick to being more successful with women is your ability to relate to them while distinguishing yourself from other men. Charity events give you the opportunity to relate to women and start conversations more easily by providing commonality with women in attendance. You can either be that guy she met at the bar or you can be that guy she met last night who also likes aquariums or dogs or (fill in the blank) other cause du jour.

Picking the right event

If you are among the 30 or so percent of men that the WPI claim are not currently giving, you may wonder about how to pick a charity to support that will yield the best results. Considering that your goal is to create some sort of commonality with the women at the charity events, pick something you ACTUALLY care about!! This goes back to my post on self-assessment – talking naturally about something that actually interests you is a LOT easier than trying to impress a girl using whatever bullshit you think she wants to hear! Do you have a dog that you love? Go to a party to support the adoption of shelter dogs. Do you love the Red Sox? During the season, there are always Red Sox Foundation events around town. More of a tech nerd? How about Museum of Science events?

If you can't manage to find ANY cause that speaks to directly, there are a lot of organizations that take a more general approach to causes and will naturally have a large percentage of women. The first that comes to mind is the Junior League of Boston. This is a women's organization that provides volunteer support to other organizations in the community. They often have social events that include a lot of members where the public can go. Because the membership generally includes a LOT of single women, these events are a great way to meet attractive, successful, together women.

So do a quick self assessment and decide what kind of guy you are and what kind of women you want to find. Look in the Globe, Events.org, Going.com (this link is a GREAT ONE!), Yelp.com or any other event listing source. When all else fails, Google it! Whatever you do, run – don't walk, to make yourself one of the men for every one of the many women who are attending these events and hoping to meet a great guy like you!


 


 


 

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