What the hell is that smell?

As promised in my introductory post, I'd like to give you the CEV about cologne. I hope it was worth hanging in!

So the guy in my introductory post said something along the lines of, "I'm confused about how much cologne to wear. Do I wear 5 sprays? 6 sprays? How do I know how much is enough?" My answer to him had lots of capital letters and exclamation points at the end. If my response was a scene in a movie, it would have been shown in slow motion like the dramatic scenes where someone tries to avert a disaster by jumping in front of a bullet while screaming, "NOOOOOOOO!!!!!" Because this is in fact a blog post and not a movie, I'll simplify it: You, my male reader, should never have more than one well-distributed spray of cologne on at once. This is a maximum amount – if you are wearing more than one you are wearing too much but you can never have too little cologne on.

You may be asking now, if cologne should be used so sparingly, why do cologne companies tell me that women like men who smell good? Well… because the cologne company is trying to sell you cologne and because we do! What cologne companies don't tell you is that not every woman actually likes the smell of their particular cologne, some may be prone to smell related maladies like allergies or headaches, and even if we like the smell, we seldom want too much of a good thing.

By definition, use of cologne is an intrusion in to someone else's "space." Any advance in to someone's personal space should be handled delicately. Although a woman that you like might enjoy the particular cologne you are wearing, it should be a nice surprise you share with her when she chooses to get closer to you, not an intrusion in to her space when she is 10 feet away. Think about it – do you really want her to meet your odor before she meets you?

If you are self conscious about your odor, there are a lot of ways to smell better without overwhelming the people around you. Obviously, a good shower gel and deodorant are essential (no, really, essential – as in not optional). A good shampoo, conditioner, and styling product can also give you a pleasant, and modest, smell.

I have told this story to endless female friends and I can say with total confidence that no woman has ever heard it, looked at me funny, and told me that any guy not wearing enough cologne is a dealbreaker. Not a single one means that, un-smelly, the odds are in your favor!

THDVHHRXDST7